31 March, 2010
24 March, 2010
Golf!
Well after all the lessons over winter, I finally got onto a golf course yesterday. Andy, the golf pro that was teaching me, took me to Oatridge golf course, opened by some bloke called Gallagher ... I dunno ... famous, apparently. Anyhoo, it started off OK, but there are some quite tricky holes in the second half of this nine-holer, with rough right in front of the tees, which I landed in, because I cannot for the life of me swing a driver properly. On reflection, I might have been better off with an iron on these (to get the ball in the air and over the obstacle), but my longest iron is a 5, which might not have cleared it, the way I hit at the moment.
The other issue I have is, of course, the distance you have to walk. I started getting really achey by the end of the 7th, so I walked in (the 8th would have taken me away from the carpark before coming back home on the 9th). My other worry was not being able to find my ball, given that my eyesight is so rubbish, but I managed to get round without losing it, so not bad. It was a very windy day, and I blame that for knocking my ball down ... :o)
So I've made a start, and Oatridge is only £8 a round in winter (£10 in summer) and only £250 for an unlimited-play season-ticket, and an annual £45 subscription to join the Binny golf club. Quite a lot cheaper than Harburn, where all the neighbours go, even if it is a 15-20 minute drive, instead of 5 minutes away. Not sure what the club subscription gets you, but I might start with a year's season ticket, and see how it goes from there.
The other issue I have is, of course, the distance you have to walk. I started getting really achey by the end of the 7th, so I walked in (the 8th would have taken me away from the carpark before coming back home on the 9th). My other worry was not being able to find my ball, given that my eyesight is so rubbish, but I managed to get round without losing it, so not bad. It was a very windy day, and I blame that for knocking my ball down ... :o)
So I've made a start, and Oatridge is only £8 a round in winter (£10 in summer) and only £250 for an unlimited-play season-ticket, and an annual £45 subscription to join the Binny golf club. Quite a lot cheaper than Harburn, where all the neighbours go, even if it is a 15-20 minute drive, instead of 5 minutes away. Not sure what the club subscription gets you, but I might start with a year's season ticket, and see how it goes from there.
05 March, 2010
New Zealand holiday photos available at last
I've finally uploaded my New Zealand holiday photos. Copy the following and paste it into your web browser address box, and it should take you there.
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/sredir?uname=Westray33&target=ALBUM&id=5445097525636892113&authkey=Gv1sRgCNa4xtXwrq-5TA&invite=CMTR8vUG&feat=email
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/sredir?uname=Westray33&target=ALBUM&id=5445097525636892113&authkey=Gv1sRgCNa4xtXwrq-5TA&invite=CMTR8vUG&feat=email
04 March, 2010
Still working on the NZ photos
I still haven't finished going through my New Zealand photos to decide which ones to post. I ought to finish doing that before we head down to Yorkshire, so I can stick them on a disc. Then again ... no I'll just post them on a Picassa web album when I'm done. I'll let you know where to look.
With friends like these ...
What a dreadful ending to my weekly Wednesday night out down the pub. We'd been watching football, and nattering as usual, and then one of my friends picked up a newspaper (I say "newspaper", it was The Sun) that was lying around. This week, there'd been a report about the unique shapes of our noses: there are six basic shapes, but like our ears, our noses are all unique in shape and size, and as biometric data, the measurements can be stored on databases and used in searching for suspects or for general identification purposes. My friend was looking at this in the paper, and turned to me and said, "let's check your nose. Are you a jew?". Well, I just lost it. I'd heard racist comments from these guys before, and been uncomfortable about it. Usually I just tell 'em not to be so stupid, and we have a little bit of an argument, but then the evening goes on with it put behind us; but I just had images in my mind of those posters and leaflets that the Nazis used in the 1930s on 'how to tell a jew'. They showed a profile photo of a stereotypical jew, with a hooked nose and so on. There were arrows and dimensions and descriptions of what to look for, and these images, and those of film clips of Nazi officials with calipers measuring people's noses, just came to mind. I dislike racism intensely, and feel uncomfortable around people who use racist comments and jokes, enough so that I went so far as asking a work colleague to refrain from voicing his opinions in my presence, which he did, and apologised. Maybe it's because I'd had a few pints by then, but I was really upset on this occasion. It seemed to have taken one extra step too far.
"It's only a joke", they protested
"But that's how it fucking starts!" I retorted. Here I am, an Englishman living in Scotland as they're about to take a referendum on independence. I'd be a foreigner myself here if they got a 'yes' vote. Would they feel the same about me as they did about all these other immigrants? If not, why not? Because I'm not black?! I was told I was being silly, that it couldn't happen here. You might have said the same in Yugoslavia before the end of the communist era. It was a civilised, modern country, with Serbs, Croats, and Bosnians all living under the system. Friends and neighbours turned on each other. It couldn't happen here? There are a few Scots who would like to give any English living in their country a hard time, and it doesn't take many to start a snowball.
Another of these friends has made comments about us being "inundated" with "them", and how in some places it's a game of "spot the white man". Apparently that's the good thing about West Calder - there are none of "them" here.
This isn't a case of me expressing my politics, and this being The Stand That We Take In The Party I Support; nothing as remote as that. This was a visceral feeling of disgust towards these people who were my friends, it literally made me weep. As I say, I'd had a few beers then, which probably didn't help, but now I'm sober, and still feel very saddened and angry at their comments and behaviour. Maybe they weren't aware of the connotations of what they said when they said it. Well they fucking are now! They are my friends, and I don't want to change that. I know I'm never going to change their minds. These guys have never lived in non-white non-anglo-saxon communities, so they have no idea how similar our values really are. I'd just like these friends of mine to keep those opinions to themselves when I'm around. There are plenty of times when I'm not around that they can talk amongst themselves like that.
The whole episode has left me feeling very depressed, but this was in a week that a prominent imam published a paper characterising the suicide bombing campaigns and Taliban and Al-Quaida insurgences as non-islamic. In another article I read, a Polish neo-nazi skinhead found out that he was actually jewish (his parents were brought up as Catholic during the Nazi occupation), did some research into his heritage, and ended up converting to orthodox judaism so he could study the Torah. All he had to do was to make some attempt at understanding the people he'd been victimising all his life, and he felt different. Doesn't always work of course, but it's a nice story.
That's it. I'm exhausted now. Rant over.
"It's only a joke", they protested
"But that's how it fucking starts!" I retorted. Here I am, an Englishman living in Scotland as they're about to take a referendum on independence. I'd be a foreigner myself here if they got a 'yes' vote. Would they feel the same about me as they did about all these other immigrants? If not, why not? Because I'm not black?! I was told I was being silly, that it couldn't happen here. You might have said the same in Yugoslavia before the end of the communist era. It was a civilised, modern country, with Serbs, Croats, and Bosnians all living under the system. Friends and neighbours turned on each other. It couldn't happen here? There are a few Scots who would like to give any English living in their country a hard time, and it doesn't take many to start a snowball.
Another of these friends has made comments about us being "inundated" with "them", and how in some places it's a game of "spot the white man". Apparently that's the good thing about West Calder - there are none of "them" here.
This isn't a case of me expressing my politics, and this being The Stand That We Take In The Party I Support; nothing as remote as that. This was a visceral feeling of disgust towards these people who were my friends, it literally made me weep. As I say, I'd had a few beers then, which probably didn't help, but now I'm sober, and still feel very saddened and angry at their comments and behaviour. Maybe they weren't aware of the connotations of what they said when they said it. Well they fucking are now! They are my friends, and I don't want to change that. I know I'm never going to change their minds. These guys have never lived in non-white non-anglo-saxon communities, so they have no idea how similar our values really are. I'd just like these friends of mine to keep those opinions to themselves when I'm around. There are plenty of times when I'm not around that they can talk amongst themselves like that.
The whole episode has left me feeling very depressed, but this was in a week that a prominent imam published a paper characterising the suicide bombing campaigns and Taliban and Al-Quaida insurgences as non-islamic. In another article I read, a Polish neo-nazi skinhead found out that he was actually jewish (his parents were brought up as Catholic during the Nazi occupation), did some research into his heritage, and ended up converting to orthodox judaism so he could study the Torah. All he had to do was to make some attempt at understanding the people he'd been victimising all his life, and he felt different. Doesn't always work of course, but it's a nice story.
That's it. I'm exhausted now. Rant over.
18 February, 2010
Off the Gabapentin
Since getting back from NZ I've completely cut out the Gabapentin phantom pain tablets. I think I said earlier that I thought they were interfering with my ability to think and remember, despite the doctors telling me that the dose I was on was too low to have that sort of side effect. One other side effect is that they are a depressant, so not only was my mood affected (not that you'd be able to tell with me), but I was tired all the time. Since I've stopped taking them, I am sure I am functioning a lot better than I had been, and I've stopped falling asleep all afternoon. I am getting more phantom pains, and they can be quite severe, but they are transient, and I'm prepared to put up with them in order to be able to think straight. One of the withdrawal symptoms of gabapentin is an increase in the condition that they are prescribed to alleviate, so I expected more phantom pains immediately after stopping taking them; I'm hoping that this will actually subside in the next few weeks. We'll see.
14 February, 2010
What happened to December and January
Yet again it's been an absolute age since I last posted a blog entry. Since my last one, I've been on holiday to New Zealand, and attempted to re-claim against my Income Replacement Plan for stopping working again. I've also completely stopped taking my Gabapentin tablets, which I think were contributing to my memory loss and inability to concentrate, despite the doctors saying that such a low dose could not be causing my problems. I have noticed that it's a little easier to remember things since I've stopped taking it, but by the same token, I have been getting more phantom pains. If not taking the tablets really improves my memory etc., then it's worth the occasional twinge of pain. There's a balance to be found here, so if the pain is tolerable I'll stay off the tablets.
We went to New Zealand from mid-December to mid-January, and took over 1,000 photos between us. We hired a camper van, and despite saying at the start that if we got fed up of sleeping in it we would stay in a B&B from time to time, we were only in a hotel on the day we arrived, and for two days over Christmas. We couldn't post any photos while we were there, firstly because of the number we took, secondly because our phone service provider didn't have a data agreement with any of the local providers, and finally, we were largely out in the middle of no-where, which only had basic voice mobile coverage.
I'm in the middle of editing my photos, giving them dates and descriptions in the filenames, so that we don't forget what they are of, and so they will show in order when we show them to people. I think I'm going to post the best of them in a Picassa Web Album, because I use Picassa on my PC to manage my photos, and it seems the easiest way of sharing them. I thought of using Flickr, but I decided to stick with a system I'm already familiar with. It'll take some time to re-label and sort the piccies, but I'll post an address here once it's sorted.
We went to New Zealand from mid-December to mid-January, and took over 1,000 photos between us. We hired a camper van, and despite saying at the start that if we got fed up of sleeping in it we would stay in a B&B from time to time, we were only in a hotel on the day we arrived, and for two days over Christmas. We couldn't post any photos while we were there, firstly because of the number we took, secondly because our phone service provider didn't have a data agreement with any of the local providers, and finally, we were largely out in the middle of no-where, which only had basic voice mobile coverage.
I'm in the middle of editing my photos, giving them dates and descriptions in the filenames, so that we don't forget what they are of, and so they will show in order when we show them to people. I think I'm going to post the best of them in a Picassa Web Album, because I use Picassa on my PC to manage my photos, and it seems the easiest way of sharing them. I thought of using Flickr, but I decided to stick with a system I'm already familiar with. It'll take some time to re-label and sort the piccies, but I'll post an address here once it's sorted.
10 November, 2009
Too much, too soon
I have decided to call it a day for this contract. Everyone advised me that I'd need to find a part-time, low-stress job to ease myself back in to work, but that just wasn't an option if I wanted to get back to bring a contract Test Analyst. I put in my resignation today, and I'll finish up on the 20th November, a week on Friday. This has never been an easy project, and it just seems to be spiralling into more and more complexity, getting me more and more stressed as my brain seizes up. Life's too short, and I don't need any more misery, so I'm offski. No matter what anyone says, and I know it's for the best, but it feels like failure. However, I've had failures before in my recovery, and one thing I have learned is not to let it get me down if I can help it. Take the lesson on-board and move on ...
30 October, 2009
free food!
Denise found this giant carrot in the veg patch: and we didn't even plant any carrots! It did us for two dinners, and very tasty it was, too.
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