Back to work?

Suddenly, I'm getting on better with my leg. I guess my own leg and the prosthetic extension have decided that they're stuck with each other, so they might as well get along. I was getting quite a lot of pain yesterday, probably following the exercise I did at the gym on Sunday. But it's calmed down now, and it's such a relief that, generally, it's getting easier. We walked up to our favourite local restaurant at the other end of the village, and I was fine. I suddenly realised I was walking at nearly my pre-accident pace - none of the slow, frustrating plodding. So, speed is up, but range/stamina isn't. Apparently you're supposed to concentrate on one or the other, and, being the impatient person I am, I went for speed ;-)

I am seriously thinking about going back to work in about a month, if there's anything going. I've contacted Steven, the guy I was working for at RBS when I had my accident, so see if I can go back, but I've also been contacted by another consultancy I worked for a few years ago, and they are also looking to see if they can find anything for me.

This is all good stuff, but it's also slightly terrifying. I've not worked for a year, and have got out of the habit - I have a lot of time to myself, and have not, so far, minded that. I see nothing wrong in wanting to watch a couple of films in the afternoon, then have a bit of a nap, and then play computer games. I'm happy doing that. When I'm not, I'll know I'm really ready to go back to work. At the moment, I'm just getting a little unsettled, and feeling guilty that I'm not back after a whole year. But when you think I actually had my amputation at the end of July, that will only be 9 months if I go back in April, and some people don't get back to work for a couple of years.

Anyhow, as I've joined the gym now (yes, really) I'm hoping to build up my stamina, and get myself back interested in the world outside the house, so it sort of feels right that I'm putting out feelers for getting back to work. I have to admit to being unsure whether I'm doing the right thing. I sort of set a year from my accident almost at random, and I'm feeling pressure on myself to stand by that. I don't know how much my condition is going to improve if I go on as I am. Should I wait, do more excercise, and be sure I'm up to it, or should I go back to work and hope that any potential employer will be sympathetic when I run out of steam, or am suffering from pain and needing to take my leg off for a couple of hours? It's hard. I could go on as I am for months and months, getting leg pain, and falling asleep in the afternoon. If I just go on waiting for that to improve, I may never get back to work. Got to do something, then. Yes? No? Oh, good grief, I just don't know.